Rambles

15,000 runs, doping and IPL

2009-08-09T21:46:00.007+05:30

I've been a cricket fan since I saw Sachin Tendulkar clobber a New Zealand bowling attack for 82 runs in 49 balls - the first time he opened a one-day inning for India.

This was the 1993-1994 season.

Fast forward fifteen years, I think cricket is like pro-wrestling and the Indian cricket team consists of a bunch of spoiled brats. Tendulkar is 36, has achieved every record - barring Bradman's average and says that he's still hungry for more.

While the enthusiasm is good, the body is old. Twenty years as a professional sportsman is a long time for any sport. The amount of net sessions, traveling and touring a cricketer does in a year - Indian or international is exhausting. Sachin will probably break the 15,000 test runs barrier, but with the amount of 20-20 cricket being played today - as a news channel pointed out - he'll be playing cricket till 2012 when he'll be 39-40. And yeah, he has to average over 53 in this period. So personally, I think he's going to break records and retire when his grandson is born.

***
Speaking of cricketers being brats, I think they're acting like a bunch of idiots with regard to the World Anti Doping Agency (WADA). Yuvraj Singh has gone on record saying that, cricketers are bigger than other sports players in India and hence their privacy needs to be respected and that they should not be tested by the WADA. Well, when you consider Yuvraj's colorful life outside cricket, he would be afraid because for all you know the guy could be attending a rave party as I enter this post.

Yuvraj, Dhoni and Tendulkar have opposed the WADA thing. Why, I ask. Are they bigger than a sport? Is this how role models should behave? Is there something that they are hiding? We're all going to ask questions. And if they finally agree (if they ever do) to go ahead with the WADA rules, it's still going to leave a bad taste in the mouth of the cricket fan

Another point to be noted. Cricketers always complained about burnouts. Yet, despite all that, they have time and commitments to put 200% for each IPL game.

It's incredible to see the talent (while I personally hate 20-20), you have to hand it to the guys when you see them play. Friends become foes; heroes are made, blah, blah, blah...and then, they come and play shitty cricket for the country because they're burnt out. We have a winner as to where their loyalties lie.

***
And away from the topic, I've been quite a slob with regard to continuing blogging since the initial burst I had a few months ago. I'm going to try and be regular with this one. Eisha's blog, Innate explorer is like encouragement for me to write more as well :)

Feed the birds...

2009-05-12T21:44:00.001+05:30

Feed the birds...
Originally uploaded by jcalamur1606

It's a very common sight to see pigeons at the Jain Mandir at Vile Parle east. Sunday, in particular, is quite busy. I captured this photograph quite a while ago, but I'm pretty fond of it because it was taken using a mobile phone camera

We need breaks like these. (Part 1 of my Munnar trip)

2009-04-29T21:16:00.013+05:30

A week back home after an awesome vacation and I sit and wish I were back in Munnar. The hills, the weather, the slow-paced life, the greenery, the tea plantations, the lack of cellular network and of course, the strong Malyali accent have all become part of my life now. (Although I haven't got the accent yet, I assure you). I'm sure Jhumur and Rohinton would agree with me there.

Where do I begin? It's like I went into a painting that was 10 degrees celcius and came out into hot, sweltering Mumbai. I never knew, and come to think of it, I'm sure most women reading this blog won't know that there are so many shades of green. Guys anyway see the world in 16 colors, so there's no hope with getting shades out of us.

So anyway, Munnar is around 180km from Cochin airport. So when we reached Cochin, we acclimatized immediately because it's hot and humid like Mumbai is. However, there are fewer vehicles, which made the car ride quite pleasant. Cochin, according to Jhumur, is a lot like North Goa. Loads of palm trees, narrow roads and vehicles lazily moving along, following traffic rules. What put me off, however, were the buildings. I have nothing against experimenting, but painting your building with pink and purple stripes is not my idea of being aesthetic. And Cochin wasn't the only place that had this. It was there everywhere. It's so ironic that a state that is known as God's Own Country has a bunch of color blind architects and house painters. Like what the hell were they thinking when they hired them? Dirty buildings and even dirtier colours.
The natural surroundings, however, made up for the dismal buildings. In the span of an hour the weather had gone from being hot and humid to warm and dry and in the next hour, i felt a slight breeze as we began going up one of the several ghats towards Munnar. The view was magnificent. Curved narrow roads representing National Highway 49, trees on one side and a valley on the other was pretty much what the doctor ordered. That was when disaster stuck!
I began getting my sister's camera ready when I discovered to my horror that the battery had died. I requested the driver to stop at the nearest town for a battery charger, but nobody had an Olympus. As a last resort I called my sister, Harini up and she said that she'd send the charger as soon as I give her the details of my hotel.
Jhumur's camera then came to our rescue. The Nokia N-95 camera is as good as a point and shoot digital still camera. The picture quality is good. The camera has good resolution and it's the ideal emergency camera. Plus, it was a 5 megapixel camera and the pictures have turned out quite well.
So, while clicking several pictures here and there, I suddenly felt the temperature drop suddenly and as it did, the vehicle turned and my heart stopped for a second. There were just tea estates and more tea estates and even more tea estates. Like I mentioned before, it looked straight out of a painting and 20 minutes later we were in Munnar town.

While the Munnar area boasts of its beauty to the world, the town was like any other small town in India. There was a large taxi stand and next to that, an even large bus stand. There were restaurants serving local food, as well as the Gujarati Thali. Foreign tourists opted to sit at Krishna Snacks to sip a cup of cardamom tea and discuss where they will trek to next.
The beauty of a tourist town is that even if you speak the local language, they can spot a tourist a mile away. It was election weekend so a long one. So there were a few families who had come from Cochin and other parts of the state to unwind over the weekend, much to my dismay. Tourists have never been my favourite people. The compensation at least was they were locals and loved their state and would die to keep the place clean.

Our resort and Club Mahindra, where Jhumur stayed were approximately 20 km from the main town and it was another drive uphill. And what a ride it was! There was a stretch when I saw mist overtaking us and parts where it just thickened and fogged our vision at 12 noon. It was very surreal and I wondered what it would be like driving at night.

I gave Harini the details of the resort I was staying at, as well as the Cochin office. I was told that I would get the charger in a couple of days, which I was okay with. I had always had faith in Jhumur's old faithful camera and it would yet serve its purpose once again.
The room Rohinton and I shared was pretty comfy. It had a huge bed, a large bathroom and excellent water supply. It had a television that had 60 local channels out of the 99 available ones. Rohinton wanted to watch the IPL and we sat scanning the damn thing for 10 minutes before we found Set Max. The tournament was scheduled to begin the following day, but we kept the channel number in mind.
We then went to Club Mahindra, which in my opinion is the rich man's Keseri Travels. This was Jhumur's original opinion and I happened to agree with her. The lunch buffet had pasta, puranpoli, butter naan, butter chicken, paneer laziza. Fuck, I hadn't come all the way to eat paneer or naan. We then called the waiter and asked for local food. He got us three curries: one vegetarian and two non-vegetarian and something called Kerala paratha, which was quite tasty and really heavy.
However, Jhumur and I were quite irritated with the lack of a concept of dessert in a Malayali meal. When we would ask the waiter at any restaurant what there was as a sweet, he would smile and say, "Paaaayasam!" While I love payasam (or kheer), the kheer my mom' makes is the best on earth and I will not even bother trying anything else. We then decided to opt for old faithful ice cream. I ordered a black current, which turned out quite nice. Jhumur and Rohinton wanted something else which wasn't there. Then they asked for another flavor, which wasn't there either. Third, Fourth and Fifth flavor and the reply was, "Saarie sir, all are over." They then tried their luck with another dessert and the waiter's eyes went bright and said, "Yes, yes, we have!" Five minutes later, he returned saying, "Saarie, all over!" They then decided to have what I was having.

After lunch, we went and checked the travel desk at Club Mahindra to see the places around Munnar. We wanted to see the Periyar Wildlife Sanctuary, The Rajamalay National Park and the Matupetti Dam (rechristened Motupetu by Jhumur). We then compared prices at Mahindra and the Chancellor, where we were staying and discovered that we were getting a better deal with the Chancellor.

Rohinton and I then decided to walk back to the Chancellor at 7.30. For your information, lights go out at 6.30 at Munnar. There isn't a single shop open unless you're in town and it's quite dark. The only source of light available is from vehicles coming in the opposite direction and Rohinton's ever reliable torch that died on the day we left Munnar.

Day 1
Rohinton doesn't know how to sleep. He gets restless at 6 am. Tosses and turns and in the process wakes me up. Now, I'm NOT a morning person. I'm cranky, pissed and can be a pain in the ass - a bigger one than I usually am. So this guy wakes me up and now I can't go back to sleep. But this guy has covered his face and is happily snoring away. I'm pissed by now. So i get up and open the veranda door. It's 8 degrees outside, but that's okay. The bastard can freeze for waking me up. He looks at me. I smile say, get ready.

***********
Matupeti Dam is beautiful. The lake is huge and the biggest attraction there is the speed boat ride. I was apprehensive initially, but Jhumur wanted to go. So we paid and we began waiting for our turn. Suddenly I hear someone yell, "James Bond speed boat ma farey che!" Horrified, I turned around and saw this family of 30 Gujarati tourists. I call that a family because 31 Gujaratis will be the number of Gujarati businessmen playing cards in the first class compartment while travelling from Virar to Churchgate station during rush hour. Jhumur looked at me and she was equally horrified. Rohinton, on the other hand, had zoned out and I assume that he began thinking of Isiac Asimov's Secound Foundation series.

Twenty minutes later, our turn to get onto the boat arrived. The wait seemed like 20 years and in that time, Jhumur and I had learned of the rates at Rameshwaram, Kanyakumari and Kovalam to the last pie. The recital was done by this obnoxious looking woman, who was wearing a pair of green and floral harem pants - something that would make the customers run away, methinks. However, when we got onto the boat, things changed for the better. The driver, who had probably graduated from Volvo Luxury Bus Driving School (where driving under 90 mph labels you a pussy) was glad to see us. I'm assuming that he had been taking families and senior citizens throughout the day and our presence on the boat gave him renewed energy.
He took off, swayed from side to side, took Jhumur's phone camera, took some insane pictures and in 15-minute boat ride, made our day.
At the end of the boat ride, the guy began screaming something to Rohinton, who was sitting right next to him. He first yelled paambu, which I didn't hear well. Rohinton looked lost. He then yelled, Saap. Rohinton still looked lost. Finally, the guy, in frustration of Rohinton's lack of reaction, yelled, SNAKE. And there it was! Swimming to get to land, the six-foot long thing slithered into a hole it had made at the bed of the dam. I froze because I'm scared to death of snakes and Jhumur kept on going, ooh. it's big. I didn't care. I wanted dry land. A helicopter preferably to keep me away from that disgusting thing.
As soon as we got off the boat, I ran to the car, locked my door and rolled the windows up. No more snakes happening in this trip, I was thinking.

After Matupetti Dam, we went and had lunch at one of the restaurants in Munnar town. We told the staff that we wanted local food that was not on the menu. The menu, fyi, was full of pastas, puranpolis and paneers as well. So we had some really spicy rasam and a few other local dishes., one of them being something called the Travancore chicken. It had a dry gravy, but was really delicious. Just the right amount of spices and green chillies.
After lunch, however, I wanted to do nothing, but we were going to Rajamalai National Park that is home to the blue goat or the Nilgiri Tahr, as it is popularly known. The only way to get there is by a local bus and during the ride, we discovered how beautiful the place is. Trees on one side and mountains on the other was quite a breathtaking experience. And the beauty is that none of the photographs that are on this blog reflect Munnar's beauty. The whole experience was surreal and I still wish that I'm back over there.
Anyway, when the bus reached its final destination, we had to trek a bit before we saw the goats. They were sure footed things and had a lovely shiny bluish grey coat. We saw one, then another came and then the third. In excitement, this moron of a woman, who Jhumur and I wanted to slap, walked like a penguin towards one of the goats causing it to go away.

I don't get human behaviour sometimes. We've been given a good brain, but no, we have to act like complete morons. To prove this, I'll give one more example. Same place, same goat, but different set of morons. This kid (probably a year old) was standing in front of the goat trying to reach out to it and pull its tail and the father was standing and admiring how cute it looked. I was getting pissed off and it was pretty evident on my face. But oh well, there's nothing much you can do with morons. Even telling them off will seem like something funny and they'll do a penguin dance to appreciate the humour making you feel stupid for telling them that they're stupid.
Speaking of stupid, when we got down and reached the town again, I called my hotel to ask about the camera charger. "Sir, you will get it by Tuesday," came the reply. "But I'm checking out on Wednesday," I said. "It has reached Cochin, sir, but it cannot come here," came the reply. "Why not?" I yelled, clearly pissed. "Because sir, we don't know what the charger looks like," was the reply. I lost it and disconnected in disgust and yelled some choice explicits to poor Rohinton who was standing next to me.
Thankfully, my mood cheered up in five minutes when we entered the Krishna Spices gift shop that was run by this really pretty woman. While Jhumur and Rohinton were looking around for things to buy, I pretended to be interested in the artifacts and other cool things around the shop. I saw this crazy looking thing that had a string attached to a wooden ball and making an excuse to talk to the woman, I asked her what it was. "Oh this. It's a baaskhetball," she said without batting an eyelid and becan trying to get the ball into the other structure that was attached to the string on the other side. It was quite funny and I burst out laughing and she grinned back at me, clearly enjoying the game. Unfortunately, that was all for our 'flirting' because Jhumur came with a few things and decided to pay her bill at that time, totally oblivious to what had happened.

When I got back to the hotel, the guy at the front desk told me that my charger would be coming the next morning. Finally, I thought to myself, I can use the SLR!

Is the law same for all?

2009-04-10T23:21:00.010+05:30

It’s a funny word, justice. In a country like ours, you sometimes wonder whether it actually means anything. Don’t get me wrong. I respect our legal system, but sometimes I just wonder…

To clean out the cobwebs that the previous paragraph had, let me introduce you to four people. We all know who most of them are, but let’s look at it as a revision class.

1) Sanjay Dutt: We know who he is and what he’s accomplished as an actor. But then, his name was blackened because of his illegal possession of firearms acquired from terrorist acquaintances responsible for the 1993 Mumbai bomb blasts. He was, however, "cleared of terrorism conspiracy charges in the blasts.” People say he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. You can believe them. You don’t have to. Nonetheless, despite being released, you can’t discount the fact that Mr. Dutt has a criminal record. Yet, he was almost issued a Lok Sabha ticket for the Samajwadi Party

2) Raj Thackeray: Nephew of Shiv Sena supreme Mr. Balasaheb Thackeray. Left the Sena to form his own Maharashtra Navnirman Sena. Has the charisma and the age-factor behind him. But has been to jail on two different occasions for instigating anti north Indian sentiments amongst Maharashtrians that resulted in riots in parts of the state. Has been released on bail on both counts, on the same day.

3) Varun Gandhi: Better known as Sanjay and Menaka Gandhi’s son, Varun joined the BJP a few years ago. Nobody had heard of him until he began his anti-Muslim speech a few weeks ago, which resulted in a national outcry. Has gained celebrity status overnight and suddenly everyone knows him.

4) Dr Binayak Sen: Paediatrician, public health specialist and national Vice-President of the People's Union for Civil Liberties (PUCL) based in Chhattisgarh. Winner of the tenth annual Jonathan Mann Award for Global Health and Human Rights, and the first winner from India and South Asia. Dr Sen is noted for extending health care to the poorest people, monitoring the health and nutrition status of the people of Chhattisgarh, and as an activist defending the human rights of tribal and other poor people. In May 2007, he was detained for allegedly violating the provisions of the Chhattisgarh Special Public Security Act 2005 (CSPSA) and the Unlawful Activities (Prevention) Act 1967. In December 2007, his bail petition was rejected by the Supreme Court of India. His trial commenced on 30 April 2008. He remains in prison.

Okay. Revision is done. Let’s get down to what I have to say.

I had never heard of Dr. Binayak Sen, until a friend joined a group on facebook demanding his release, a couple of years ago. Since then, I’ve read articles that have come in the newspapers, as well as online to see if anything has progressed in his case. Sadly, nothing has.

What goes against Dr. Sen is that the CSPSA act is non-bailable. According to the Act, anyone accused can face either three or seven years imprisonment.

However, problem is that there is no concrete proof that Dr. Sen was a Naxalite sympathizer. His imprisonment is all under assumption.

According to a letter published in the Guardian Newspaper, “Dr Sen has worked for decades on issues of basic livelihood, health services and social justice. He has been a political prisoner since 14 May 2007 in the Indian state of Chhattisgarh, denied bail and appropriate medical treatment. He is on Amnesty's list of "prisoners at risk". No credible charges have been brought against him; anti-terror legislation has been used to extend his detention. Extra charges and additional witnesses have been introduced with the apparent intention of endlessly prolonging his trial.”

Furthermore, his release has taken a political turn. According to a three-part series written in the Indian Express by my friend, Vinay Sitapati, state Congress leader Ajit Jogi says: “I know Binayak Sen to be an honest, selfless, server of the poor. To deny bail to such a person is totally wrong. While I can’t comment on the court’s decision, if I was chief minister, I wouldn’t have opposed bail.”

Also, according to the article, the The Chhattisgarh government supports this key allegation against Sen with a lot of evidence. However, reports have stated that the evidence produced has had loopholes that both the state police and government are yet to look into, which may postpone his trial by another 2-3 years.

Going back the beginning of this essay…is justice in India fair? The first three people because of their status in society have managed to go away scot-free. And yes, we can say that they were arrested for 'anti-national' sentiments. Dutt for his association with terrorists, Thackeray for attacking fellow Indians and Varun Gandhi for his anti-minority speech. We can also look at the case of Jessica Lal, who was shot in a crowded room and the prime accused got away on bail (only to be arrested last year). They say that nobody is above the law, but when I look at Dr Sen’s case, I begin to wonder…

Of Gods, athiesm and beliefs

2009-04-06T23:52:00.002+05:30

Faith is a funny word. It means belief. Could be anything: Ghosts, UFOs, Witchcraft, Wizardry, Harvey Dent and of course, God.

I was having this discussion with a friend of mine, who lives in Austin. She and her husband just purchased a CR-V and were doing some puja at a temple. So I asked her if she is the type who regularly visits the temple and we got talking about commercializing faith. How religion has become this huge business and of course, the fact that those refusing to visit crowded temples are now termed as atheists or non-believers.

I remember this one time when I was asked to go to a particular temple by some classmates in college and I refused to. I was marked the outcast and the non-believer. Well, they did eventually go and had to wait six hours for a darshan, thanks to some politician/celebrity who had come for darshan. One guy, I remember had told me that everyone wanted to get the darshan of the film star rather than the God, which didn't leave me surprised at all.

This other instance is also pretty hilarious. My dad had told me that he knew someone's someone's someone, who was a member of the RSS/VHP or one of those other cults had gone to a spiritual leader to seek blessings before building a Ram Temple in Ayodhya. The spiritual leader apparantly smiled and told the man to first build a temple inside himself. I don't know how far the story is true, but it's a lesson for all of us.

Faith comes from within. It's not about shoving each other to touch an idol's feet in a huge temple or about groping someone's body part in a huge crowd when they're discussing excerpts from the Holy Bible or the Holy Koran. Both my mom and dad (despite their frequent requests to visit a temple once in a while) have always told me that, if you have faith in yourself, it's as good as having faith in a higher being.

While this piece sounds extremely holier-than-thou, I'm quite glad that I wrote it. It's been at the back of mind for as long as I can remember and today, I can proudly and confidently say that I have faith!

Gym rush hours are a pain in the ass

2009-04-01T22:42:00.002+05:30

I make it a point to work out at least four times a week. Thrice i devote to cardiovascular stuff and one time if for weights. I usually go in the evening after work because I'm Mr. Sunshine in the morning (except when I'm going to the beach). At the time I go, which is usually between 8 and 9 pm, the gym has a crowd, but you don't have to wait too long for your turn to do a particular set of exercises. Yesterday, however, I made the mistake of going in at 7.30 and dude, believe me, it's like traveling by local train during rush hour.

I began my usual warm-up and went to the cardiovascular section. Now the screw up is that the gym area is not too big and there are too many people. And we know how we Indians are when personal space is concerned. And when I'm at the gym, it's all about me. I don't speak to anyone, despite the fact that the gym is great place to socialize. Dude, I pay to exercise, not to make friends, who discuss their salsa class, yoga and how many bench presses they can do with 100 kgs.

So anyway, I had a decent workout, but the abdominal exercises was the time when I wanted to shoot everyone inside. First this guy slip streams past me, takes a mat and lies down on the only space on the floor. I patiently wait and when he's done with his sets, I take another mat and lie down. I'm just about set with the feeling that I'm alone, when this lady with a rear end that will provide a roof to the salvation army decides to do her squats. So for a fraction of a second, my face was under her ass and then I was like, screw it. No ab exercises. I'll do them at home. And I vowed never to come at 7.30 to the gym again.

In comparison, today was empty. I got in by 8.30 and was done by 9.30. By then the gym is practically empty with just a handful of people finishing off their workouts.

Moral of the story: Gyms during rush hour is bad. It is like a train rush hour and barring the smell of fishmongers, the body odor is pretty much the same.
Never, ever attempt doing ab exercises in an overcrowded gym. Someone squatting might lose balance and you may be 'ass'fixiated
If you're not one to socialize, don't bother coming at this time. It's just pissing off

Does media hype kill a movie?

2009-03-31T00:40:00.008+05:30

What does one do when they haven't been able to sleep for the last one week? In my case, I usually watch a movie or read. Off late, I've been doing more of the former because I've not got my hands on anything interesting to read. So last night, after a futile attempt of going to sleep at 11, I decided to finally watch Juno. I had heard several people rave about the movie, but I remember Grace's review that the movie disappoints because the media hype killed it. My brother told me that the movie was strictly okay, as did Manisha, an ex-colleague of mine. But when I look back at movies that have failed and succeeded in the box office, it's always been the media hype (or the lack of it) that has made or killed a movie. I have a few examples to cite here.

When George Lucas made Star Wars, nobody cared about how it would do. In fact, according to the making of the movie documentary, 20th Century Fox was seriously considering shelving the project, but gave in to Lucas' persistence. Well as we all know, the original trilogy became one of the biggest (if not the biggest) cults in the world. And when the prequel happened, the original fans hated it. In my opinion, The Phantom Menace was crap, Attack of the Clones was slightly better and Revenge of the Sith just a few notches below Return of the Jedi.
When you look at movies that Bollywood released this year, the ones with less media coverage did better. I've heard better reviews for movies like 13 B, Dev D and Gulaal as opposed to a Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Billu or a Ghajini. While I haven't seen any of the movies, barring Dev D, I can rest my case about the media hype destroying the expectations of the common man.

So yeah, I guess why Juno didn't impress me is that didn't have anything that I thought that it might. It was fun, yeah; it had its moments, yeah, but that's about it.

If i were to play devil's advocate for the media (and yeah, I have no choice here since the media gives me food), I'd say that promotion is necessary to get the viewer's attention. But is promotion to the point of overhyping something that necessary? Certain movies like The Dark Knight made through the hype. But the hype was created only after Heath Ledger tragically passed away after shooting the movie.

So do you think the overhype makes it? I'd say no... :)

Limericks are fun

2009-03-28T01:42:00.008+05:30

My friend Cheryl had gifted me a book of Ogden Nash's limericks and yeah, it's one of my favorite reads - when I have nothing else to read that is. You just can't help, but admire his use of words while writing small, but extremely witty poems.
Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
is one such type of limerick you can associate with Nash's work.

Other stuff includes longer limericks like
How pleasant to sit on the beach,
On the beach, on the sand, in the sun,
With ocean galore within reach,
And nothing at all to be done!
No letters to answer,
No bills to be burned,
No work to be shirked,
No cash to be earned,
It is pleasant to sit on the beach
With nothing at all to be done!
How pleasant to look at the ocean,
Democratic and damp; indiscriminate;
It fills me with noble emotion
To think I am able to swim in it.
To lave in the wave,
Majestic and chilly,
Tomorrow I crave;
But today it is silly.
It is pleasant to look at the ocean;
Tomorrow, perhaps, I shall swim in it.

While I'm no Ogden Nash and will probably never be one for the next seven life times, I've also enjoyed writing what I believe are limericks. Unfortunately, more often than not, these limericks have been considered 'dirty and disgusting' by many friends who are prey to hearing them.

I remember the first limerick I heard was about a man from Madras. It went:
I know a man from Madras
Whose balls were made out of brass
In a stormy weather, they clashed together
And sparks came out of his arse

Now, my brother, the creative genius that he is decided that he would come up with an alternative for this one. And so was born the man from Swaziland
There was once a man from Swaziland
Whose balls were made out of sand,
In a stormy weather, they clashed together,
And sparks came out of his Gaand*

So yeah, from here, I took a step forward and tried my hand at the limerick. While some have been inspired by songs for which the music remains the same, but the lines change and the occasional one-off limerick, I haven't been that successful. One such limerick was actually about my friend, Cheryl, who lives the least complicated life I have ever known and loves the musical, Fiddler on the Roof. Oh yeah, she's quite the carnivore as well. It went like this:
I know this girl called Cheryl,
Whose life is anything but mortal peril,
While enjoying a plate of cow's hoof,
She sits and watches Fiddler On The Roof,
You can't expect anything else out of Cheryl

Limericks, I believe are a great learning tool as well. Well, since tonight is Earth Hour, let's put things into perspective.

Tonight from half past eight to half past nine,
Lights across the world will shut down, but it will all be fine,
After staring at darkness for an hour, we'll all relieve ourselves in a cold water shower,
And discuss how we helped reduce global warming over a glass of wine

* For those who don't know, Gand is Hindi for the arse

How can she not like a bath?

2009-03-27T01:16:00.003+05:30

Today when I came back from work, my dad told me that Rani walked into the bathroom when he was washing his hands. Assuming she wanted to have a bath, he closed the door and started the water in her bucket. Her response: snarling! Harini and I were pretty amused when we heard the tale.

For the record, Rani hates bathing, even in this weather. How? I don't know, but she does. She'll act like a cat and lick herself clean, but mention the word 'bath' and she'll do anything in her power to not have one.

Listed out are some of the things Rani does when the word bath is mentioned
1) Hide under the bed: This is the safest bet for her, as she knows that we won't come to take her for a bath when she's here
2) Snarling: If you're persistent like me, then you sometimes want to try your luck. So you end up getting the choicest abuses that you wouldn't even hear out of a human.
3) Going on 'strike' mode: This is a new thing she learnt. Well, not new exactly new, but it's newer than hiding under the bed or snarling. Since she was neutered, Rani has put on a lot of weight. She uses this to her advantage by sitting absolutely tight and refusing to budge. So at times like these, when we know that she needs a bath, Harini pulls her and I stand behind her and gently kick her arse.

The funny thing, however, is when she actually enters the bathroom, she offers no resistance because she knows she needs to be cleaned up - barring today of course. Harini's defense would probably be that, dad was alone and tired and Rani told him off.

For once, let's stick to a plan

2009-03-26T01:03:00.006+05:30

It's 1 am. I should be asleep, but I'm not. I've just been thinking a bit too much today and now I've gotten a headache. Plus, it doesn't help that it's extremely hot and the dust levels are getting worse by the day. In this heat, I wonder how I'm going to put the mains off on Earth Hour which is on Saturday.

The idea of shutting down power for an hour is a nice thought. It's just that I wonder how many people will actually implement it. One of my friends in my building and I have plans on coming out with a circular requesting that we turn the mains off in our society for an hour at some point on Saturday. It would be sensible to do it during the evening because at that time, we can at least come out and save electricity at a time that we're sure we do not get a sunstroke.

It's interesting to, however, see how popular signing the Earth Hour petition has been this year. And you have to give it to WWF for taking this initiative to the masses. According to their press release, "This year, Earth Hour has been transformed into the world’s first global election, between Earth and global warming.
For the first time in history, people of all ages, nationalities, race and background have the opportunity to use their light switch as their vote – Switching off your lights is a vote for Earth, or leaving them on is a vote for global warming. WWF are urging the world to VOTE EARTH and reach the target of 1 billion votes, which will be presented to world leaders at the Global Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen 2009. This meeting will determine official government policies to take action against global warming, which will replace the Kyoto Protocol. It is the chance for the people of the world to make their voice heard."

Interestingly though, despite 50 million homes switching off their lights for an hour in 2008, there were not that many online petitions. Will this level of campaigning work out this year? One can only find out this Saturday. Until then, I'll get the circular ready to put up on my building's noticeboard

A memory

2009-03-24T20:28:00.009+05:30

I read Winnie the Pooh for the first time when I was 11. Today, 14 years on, I can still read it!

I still remember when my brother, dad and I had gone to this really old shop in Vile Parle that sold old books. We were searching for second-hand Asterix and Tintin comics when my dad found this pink-colored book with a bear sitting on the banks of a river. Until then, I thought that Winnie the Pooh was something created by Disney, but my brother snatched it and we picked it up.

I blog about Winnie-the-Pooh today because I saw one of the Disney cartoons the other day; cute as always, but there is something about the book that just brings 100 Acre Wood to Life - something that Disney had tried over and over again, but just not managed to succeed. And of course, I'm sure that I'll still be able to read it 11 years from today as well

IPL moving out of India

2009-03-22T20:03:00.004+05:30

The Indian Premier League after its first successful year is going to be played outside India, as India's security forces would be concentrating more on Election 2009. To say that I am not surprised at this move would be an understatement.

Let's look at the basic plotline. Lalit Modi and his stooges wanted top-level security from the Indian government during the games. Problem here...the games clash with elections and the campaign period. Why would the government - whoever was in power - want to do something as stupid as that? And WHY can't Lalit Modi arrange for private security? If a player like Loots Bosman (have you heard of him?) can be auctioned for USD 1,50,000 in the 2008 IPL, then why can't you pay the same amount (ok, perhaps a bit more) for security? And who do you want to protect?
1) The players, who make money to entertain
2) The crowds, who spend a lot to get entertained
3) The cheerleaders, who have to face the wrath of radical fundamentalist wings across the country
4) Lalit Modi himself, who doesn't seem to have a large circle of friends. Suddenly, everyone is bad mouthing him and after his blood and why won't they be?

On a personal note, I've never enjoyed the shortest version of the game (I didn't follow it last year either; mainly got my news through colleagues at work) I never liked the 50-over format much either, but at least, there would be instances where teams would set test match-like fields. The cricket played in the Twenty-20 format is something I call 'retarded cricket'. Batsmen come, try and hit a six every ball and in general never use their brains - quite like that character in Ashutosh Gowarikar's Lagaan, who works in the temple. There is no battle as such between the batsman and the bowler and it's usually a stupid shot that gets the batsman out

So, now that the tournament has officially been shifted, where will it go? England is a good option, as my brother pointed out. They did come down after the Mumbai attack to play two test matches so as a goodwill gesture, it would be the best bet. Otherwise, South Africa it is again.

The week that was...

2009-03-21T22:25:00.004+05:30

Another week gone by. Another week of stories, editing, page making and page reading. Another Sunday to make an attempt to recharge my batteries before getting into the groove of another week. As I sit typing this blog, my eyes feel heavy, my body hot and grimy despite a cold shower and my thoughts travel to a place where there is greenery, the weather is wonderful and most importantly, there is no mobile phone access.

Thankfully, this thought might become reality if I get some time off in April for five days. I plan on going with some friends to Munnar, where I hope to take loads of pictures, laze and sleep, something that I haven't done in quite a while.

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Today, is also my grandmother's last day here. She's 84 and thinks she's 14. So my mom is taking her back to ensure that she get home safely. My dog, Rani isn't too happy about that. Everytime my grandmother has come here since Rani came home, my mom has always gone back with her. Considering that my dog hates sharing us with anyone else, it's understandable that she doesn't like my grandmother too much. But the old lady won't go down without a fight either. She keeps calling my dog a hyena and keeps making fun of her, knowing full well that we're there to ensure Rani doesn't go for her throat.

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The weather is crazy. It's not even April and the temperature has gone beyond 40 degrees C (approximately 104 F) with relative humidity having major fluctuations. We've never used an air conditioner at home and we're not going to begin the habit, but it's always good complaining about the weather if there is nothing else to complain about.

Onion-like news: SLR releases Re 1 bicycle

2009-03-19T21:26:00.012+05:30

If you haven't read the Onion or know what it is, then I suggest that you check it out before you proceed

Disclaimer: The quotes and the story are a figment of everyone's imagination. So let's not get to hasty in sending out lawsuits. Furthermore, SLR cycles does not exist

SLR to come out with Re 1 bicycle
If Mr Ratan Tata thought that he would take the world by storm by releasing the Rs 1 lakh Tata Nano, he needs to start checking out SLR's Cycle's response to his car. On Thursday, Vineet Joshi, Chairman & MD, SLR Group announced that his company would be coming out with a bicycle that would cost Re 1 in the market. That's right, folks. The bicycle could cost the same price as chewing gum and will be called Yoyo.

"We thought of the way the Tatas were selling the Nano. While we think that the Nano is a nice concept, the Yoyo is a lot better because not only is it environment-friendly, people who are obese can travel around on a cycle and loose weight in the process," said Joshi

Joshi added that in a period when India was regarded as the diabetic captital of the world, cycling would be good for the millions of diabetics across the nation. "It would improve their blood flow, as well as reduce their intake of insulin," he informed.

Fitness experts, who have heard of the Yoyo think it's a wonderful concept especially for those people who hate the concept of exercise. "It would be wonderful for society if the Yoyo becomes popular," says fitness expert Meena Logre.

The cycle is said to be made from some titanium alloy and would be out in the markets soon. However, the question in most people's head is how Munjal managed to use so much titanium in the bicycles. "It's actually a secret. The titanium content in my bicycles in 0.00001 %. The rest of the metal used is by recycling the scrap of ships that have been dumped on the Gujarat border."

People who have heard of the news have welcomed it with open arms. Social worker and environmentalist, Prakash Kumar said that it would be good to see more people opt for the Re 1 bicycle than spend a Rs 100,000 on a car. "Petrol prices are increasing by the day and while the prices have reduced in the last few months, they might increase after the elections. We're in a situation when we need our natural resources. I'm glad that SLR Cycles has come up with this initiative and I hope that people respond to it positively," said Mr Kumar.

However, with the good, there is also the bad. V Pao, the union leader of the Taxi and Auto Association in Mumbai has strongly opposed this idea. Interestingly, Pao was also against the release of the Tata Nano and had threatened strikes if the old Fiat taxis and rickshaws were replaced by the Nano. With SLR's Yoyo, Rao could practically be out of business. "It's an outrage. What do they want us to do? Ride cycles like the Chinese? This will never happen. We will go on rampage when the Yoyo - who even names something that - comes into market and ensure that people don't buy it," he said.

Interestingly, a city municipal commissioner declared that weekends would be vehicle-free and only cycles and runners could move across the streets of the big city. "With the advent of globalization, obesity has also come into urban India. Making the streets vehicle free, will ensure people can either walk or cycle without getting distubed. And if we see a car on the road, the penalties will be as severe as it is for people driving under the influence of alcohol," he said. The commissioner is awaiting his fellow commissioners of other civic bodies to go ahead with the move as well.

On World Water Day, Cherish!

2009-03-18T21:48:00.007+05:30

Every year since its conceptualization in 1992, the United Nations has come with a particular theme on World Water Day. This year, targeting tropical countries that are prone to waterborne diseases, the United Nations has called on all governments to ensure safe water and decent sanitation for civilians in conflict zones. Interestingly, in many conflict zones, which include the Indian subcontinent and many parts of Africa, disease (particularly a waterborne disease) kills more civilians than bullets. A survey conducted by the UN said that an estimated 3,900 children die everyday because of waterborne diseases.

MAJOR WATERBORNE DISEASES PLAGUING THE WORLD TODAY
Malaria
Malaria is a life-threatening parasitic disease transmitted by mosquitoes. It was once thought that the disease came from fetid marshes, hence the name mal aria, (bad air). The real cause of malaria is a one-cell parasite called plasmodium. The parasite is transmitted from person to person through the bite of a female Anopheles mosquito, which breeds during the monsoons

Diarrhea
Everyday, diarrhoeal diseases cause some 6,000 deaths, mostly among children under five. In 2001, 1.96 million people died from infectious diarrhoeas out of which 1.3 million were children under five. Between 1,085,000 and 2,187,000 deaths due to diarrhoeal diseases can be attributed to the 'water, sanitation and hygiene' risk factor, 90 per cent of them among children under five. With simple hygiene measures such as washing hands after using the toilet or before preparing food, most of these deaths are preventable.

Schistosomiasis
Schistosomiasis is parasitic disease caused by a worm that is often found in irrigation ditches and still river water. The water becomes contaminated by Schistosoma eggs when infected people urinate or defecate in the water. The parasites then develop inside snails before re-entering the water where they can penetrate the skin of persons they come in contact with

Dengue
Dengue Fever is an infectious disease which is characterized by severe pains in the eyes, head, and extremities. It is transmitted by the bite of a mosquito. Like malaria, the disease can be prevented by ensuring that there is no stagnant water available for mosquitoes to breed. This can only happen when the surroundings are kept clean

Some interesting facts
- One billion people lack access to improved water supply
- 2.6 billion people lack access to improved sanitation
- In sub-Saharan Africa, trends observed since 1990 indicate that neither the sanitation nor the drinking water target will be met by 2015.
- Access to piped water through household connections
- Latin America and the Caribbean: 66%
- Asia: 49%
- Africa: 24%
- Access to sanitation linked to a sewage system:
- Latin America and the Caribbean: 66%
- Asia: 18%
- Africa: 13%

Source: www.unesco.org

The global water crisis
- 3.575 million people die each year from water-related disease
- 43 per cent of water-related deaths are due to diarrhea
- 84 per cent of water-related deaths are in children ages 0 – 14
- 98 per cent of water-related deaths occur in the developing world
- At any given time, half of the world's hospital beds are occupied by patients suffering from a water-related disease
- Poor people living in the slums often pay 5-10 times more per liter of water than wealthy people living in the same city
- Without food a person can live for weeks, but without water you can expect to live only a few days

Comic-otica

2009-03-18T09:26:00.006+05:30

What do you get when you mix Indians, comics and porn? The answer is Savita Bhabhi, India's first online pornographic comic.
What's amazing about Savita Bhabhi as a comic is that it's hilariously bad. The dialogues in the talking balloons are corney and weird example: the first comic has this lingerie salesman saying, Wow! What a hot bhabhi! when he sees our protagonist. Now, even if you haven't read the comic, you know what we're getting into.

Despite all this, we have to give the devil its due. Deshmukh (who has changed his name for the sake of security), the creater of Savita Bhabhi has conviniently sat in another country where pornography is obviously legal and gone ahead with making the character. Mid-Day, on February 27, did a story on how the character is going to come in a film - thankfully animation.

Now if that happens, it'll be quite hilarious, considering a handful of MNS and Sri Ram Sene men would be dealing with a mob and trying to forcibly prevent them from watching porn. Yes, the theaters will never air the movie and it'll be most likely seen on Youtube or on mobile phones, so how will people monitor these? Maybe people of the Ram Sene, particularly Mr Mutalik, who have never got any action in their lives, will be secretly watching the clips and Pub Bharo will soon become Porn Karo.

Sights across India - I

2009-03-17T23:19:00.007+05:30

When I had gone to Visakhapatnam on a holiday last year, I visited the farmer's bazaar (known as the Raitu Bazaar over there). It's an interesting concept, where the farmers come directly to the market and sell their wares without interacting with the middlemen. I managed to get capture some images of the place, which is quite clean for a market.

It's easier to fight for the Number 2 spot in test cricket

2009-03-16T22:33:00.006+05:30

The Australia-South Africa series that's taking place is currently a one-sided one. When you consider the way the South Africans played in Australia to come out of two almost defeat situations and end up winning, it is quite disappointing.

Having said that, nothing can be taken away from Ricky Ponting and his team. They have worked on their weaknesses and made it their strength. The bowling that lacked fire in the series in Australia is sharp and accurate. Both Mitchell Johnson and Peter Siddle have been immaculate in their line and length and when they've not taken wickets, they've injured the batsmen. The batting has been consistent - barring the collapse in the first innings of the second test. While I'm not the biggest fan of this current Australian squad, they have proved to the world why they are the best and toppling that number 1 spot is going to be a Herculean task for either South Africa or India.

As for South Africa, they need to do some serious rethinking. Their captain and best batsman is injured. The bowling has lacked the penetration that it did in Australia. While Dayle Steyn has been good in spells, he doesn't have the firepower that he did in Australia.

Now, the problem arises with Jacques Kallis' captaincy in the third test. According to his mini-biography that is on cricinfo, "His batting is not for the romantic - a Kallis century tends to be a soulless affair, with ruthless efficiency taking precedence over derring-do, and he has never quite dispelled the notion that he is a selfish cricketer, with more interest in his average than his team's position." While he has captained the side in the one-day side, the test leadership is something still to be answered.

A lot will depend on Kallis and Dumney in the third test if South Africa are to salvage any pride at all in this series. Australia, on the other hand, have to play like they have in the first two matches to show the world why they are still the best side.

The Third Front: Will it work?

2009-03-15T22:24:00.006+05:30

Although political analysts have dubbed the Third Front in India as 'directionless', they have made both the UPA and NDA alliances think hard over their thought processes. Just in breaking news suggests that the Naveen Patnaik-led BJD has joined the 'directionless party. Patnaik is just the latest name amongst others like Mayawati, HD Deve Gawda and N Chandrababu Naidu to be part of this alliance.

Now where does this leave the UPA and the NDA? When you consider that the leaders of the Third Front are huge names in state-level politics, it is a threat. My sister, who is currently shooting a documentary on disaster management visited Orissa and she came back telling me that there is definately a blame game beteween the state, the centre and the contractors involved in redevelopment work in the state.

An interesting point put forth during today's episode of We The People on NDTV suggested that the NCP may join the Third Front, but did not get into details of it. But let's say that the NCP does join the Third Front, it will be a very interesting election.

Two questions of course will be on everyone's mind with regard to this new alliance
1) Who will their prime ministerial candidate?
2) Since they are mainly state leaders, will their primary focus still be states over the nation?

Right now, the three contenders: the NDA, the UPA and the Third Front will have to play their cards very carefully during their campaign. And you have to admit: if it weren't for the fact that we lived in a democracy, there would be no hungama like the one we've been facing in the last week or so